Whether you live south of Eight Mile or commute in from an outer-ring suburb, you’re a Detroiter at heart, right? Next time you’re strapped for something to do — or if you have out-of-town visitors looking for a quintessential “Motown” experience — keep this handy guide in mind. While every little thing on our list might not be up your alley, there’s a little something for everyone. We included the tried-and-true-but-still-awesome (Tigers Opening Day and the Detroit Zoo). We also put in a few slightly obscure, “insider-only” attractions and events (Hamtramck Disneyland and Detroit Soup fundraisers). Along the way, we’ll show you how to fist-bump Joe Louis, point out a few dos and don’ts of fishing, and much, much more. Just don’t let us catch you sounding like a summertime teen complaining, “There’s nothing to do.”